Archive for the ‘humor’ Category

Chubby Bailiff Wrassling

March 7, 2012

From the Funny Fatty Files

“Courtroom brawl caught on tape”- do you _have_ to be tubby to be a courtroom bailiff? These guys hilariously waddle around trying to subdue their more svelte charges in a risible comic fashion worthy of the 3 stooges if they were all Curlys).

Adventures in Web Design

March 5, 2012

I currently hold a salaried position as a webmaster/web designer, but I occasionally still take on free-lance jobs, mostly as a favor, but also when the client offers me a really lucrative deal based on the time needed to create the project. Most of these utilize my years of expertise rather than time-consuming grunt work. I make a good living now and I don’t really seek new work, but if something really advantageous comes along, I’m open to listen.

Which brings me to an unsolicited email I got today from someone who claims he was referred by one of my old clients:

3:37 PM (50 minutes ago)
to dw

I have a party who wishes to set up an active mineral and water dowsing website. He is a professional dowser, has written two books on the subject and has given many presentations on the subject.. He would start working this Spring assuming the new website garnered clients. He is very established in the business but desires a modern active website with a view towards clients in the Western and Central US. I estimate that the business, an LLC to be established, will not have income until August or September.

Are you, Mr. Web Designer/ Webmaster willing to take on the full responsibilities of design, implementation, along with site ranking management and wait until the Fall to get paid by the LLC?

My answer:

3:57 PM (30 minutes ago)
to rob
Tell your “party” to hold his dowser over this email and see which is my answer:

NO                            NO

Obscure old comedy record reference of the day

February 9, 2012

“Bristol University glaciologist Prof Jonathan Bamber,”

At last, someone who would be unable to truthfully sing “I Like Traffic Lights”– for any of you Monty Python fans out there, you’ll know what I mean (without clicking the link!) 😉

Dave Barry, closet conservative?

January 2, 2012

Barry gets some joshing in on the GOP candidates, but check out these 2 sections, which basically take a side in the media narrative diametrically opposed to the democrat article of faith:

Check out this deconstruction of the Gifford shooting, which pretty much echoes what conservative blogs have said all along (does Barry secretly read the conservative blogs?)

The month’s biggest story is a tragedy in Tucson, where a man opens fire on a meet-and-greet being held by U.S. Rep. Gabrielle Giffords. The accused shooter turns out to be a mentally unstable loner with a history of drug use; there is no evidence that his actions had anything to do with uncivil political rhetoric. So naturally the blame for the tragedy is immediately placed on: uncivil political rhetoric. This results in a nationwide spasm of civil political rhetoric lasting about two hours, after which everybody returns to uncivil political rhetoric, which has been the norm in the United States for two centuries.

And this dismissal of the occupoopers, which also pretty much mirrors what rightblogs and other conservative commentators have said about the movement (no pun intended).
(more…)

Another victim of success

November 1, 2011

from Gatway Pundit

If I had to guess, I’d say that the more lucrative panhandling and easier procuring of drugs due to his many new fans and hangers-on probably killed the guy. Where-as before, his poverty kept his drug addiction down to a manageable and non-lethal level, the notoriety he gained by being a very vocal and extroverted crazy in a sea of crazy gained him just enough money or free drugs for him to kill himself. Notwithstanding the scold above who berates us to have compassion for this guy, what we see here is Darwinism in action. The world is better off if this guy’s genes are not propagated. The world doesn’t really need “Son of Street-Poet” crazy, we’re all stocked up here.

Why the leftist entertainment industry can’t find anything funny to say about Obama.

March 30, 2011

It’s big news when a mainstream comedian cracks on Obama, because it happens so infrequently. This piece about Jimmy Fallon gently ribbing the president is so mild it’s barely “criticism” at all. It’s certainly not very funny.

I’ve read numerous pieces where comedians, mostly leftists ones, say it’s hard to joke about Obama cuz he’s just so damn competent and saintly there isn’t much to work with.

Which is bullshit of course. They certainly have had no problems in the past making fun of the actual Messiah, so laughing at a faux one should be easy, right? It’s hard for them, and here’s why:
(more…)

Aristocrats

March 9, 2011

I’m watching the documentary by Paul Provenza and Penn Gillette about the joke “The Aristocrats”.

Two thoughts: one, all the comics look really old and bad, except Drew Carey. It’s stunning how old some of these guys (and gals) have gotten, and time has not been kind.

Second, these are professional comedians who do this nightly, and have (from the look of them) for a long, long time, decades. And yet, George Carlin, Harry Shearer, many other intelligent and talented guys, blow the punchline, either because they don’t understand it, or it was how it was told to them and they never had the intellectual curiosity and true “sense” of humor to question why the fucking punchline doesn’t work the way they tell it.

(more…)