Author Archive

Don’t mention this post to anyone, it’s a secret (Obama’s a Muslim)

March 14, 2012

This guy, by writing this article, is doing exactly what he chastises the pollsters for doing. I had not even heard of this poll until I stumbled on this column. My question is, why are 40+% of Mississipians so unaware of Obama’s religion?

Seriously, I think the guy is an atheist who is Christian when it’s convenient. I believe he didn’t even pay attention to Reverend Wright for 20 years.
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Theolonius Monk’s advice for musicians (and life)

March 7, 2012

From Lists of Note, the Monk’s list of advice, mostly for musicians and playing live, but most of these could be extrapolated for any situation and living life itself.

This is my own transcription, there’s one on the site but it’s all caps and I read some of it differently. I don’t think he MEANT it all in caps, it was just an easy way to print. Also, he underlines many words for emphasis.

I especially like the last one. I wonder who “they” were?

Monk’s Advice (1966)
Just because you’re not a _drummer_, doesn’t mean that you don’t have to _keep time_.

Pat your foot + sing the melody in your head when you play.

Stop playing all those wierd [sic] notes, play the _melody_!

Make the drummer sound _good_.

Discrimination is important.

You’ve got to dig it to _dig_ it, you dig?

All reet!

Always know… (monk V)
It must be always _night_, otherwise they wouldn’t need the _lights_.

Let’s _lift the bandstand_!!

Avoid the _hecklers_.

Don’t play the _piano part_, I’m playing that. Don’t listen to _me_, I’m supposed to be accompanying _you_!

The _inside_ of the tune (the bridge) is the part that makes the _outside_ sound good.

Don’t play _everything_ (or everytime); let some things _go by_. Some music [is] just _imagined_. What you _don’t_ play can be more important than what you _do_ play.

A note can be small as a pin or as big as the world, it depends on your _imagination_.

Stay in _shape_! Sometimes a musician waits for a gig, + when it comes, he’s out of shape + can’t make it.

When you’re _swinging_, wing some _more_!

(what should we wear tonight?) _Sharp as possible_!

Always leave them wanting _more_.

Don’t sound _anybody_ for a gig, just be _on the scene_. Those pieces were written so as to have something to play, + to get cats _interested_ enough to come to _rehearsal_.

You’ve got it! If you don’t want to play, tell a joke or dance, but in any case, _you got it_! (to a drummer who didn’t want to solo).

Whatever you think _can’t_ be done, somebody will come along + _do it_. A genius is the one who is _most like himself_.

They tried to get me to hate white people, but someone would always come along + spoil it.

Frannie-poo Tarkenton should stick to touch football

March 7, 2012

Fran Tarkenton last beclowned himself weighing in on the Tim Tebow “Tebowing” whine-fest, taking the side of the godless. Instead of applauding the fact that a quarterback was advocating religion, morals, good behaviour, good sportsmanship and general righteousness, Fran cried and cried about the fact Tim brought too much Jesus to his game and I guess it offended Fran’s sense of decorum. Fran also yelled at Tim to get off his lawn.

As I noted at the time (my comment was oddly deleted) Tarkenton plagiarized a scene in North Dallas Forty in that diatribe, claiming that the scene where the team chaplain says a prayer before the game, then the late great John Matusak jumps up and says “Let’s kill the SOB’S!” actually happened on his team.
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Chubby Bailiff Wrassling

March 7, 2012

From the Funny Fatty Files

“Courtroom brawl caught on tape”- do you _have_ to be tubby to be a courtroom bailiff? These guys hilariously waddle around trying to subdue their more svelte charges in a risible comic fashion worthy of the 3 stooges if they were all Curlys).

Now that’s some fucken blogging!

March 7, 2012

Bill Quick has been blogging almost as long as we have (’95, but we didn’t call it blogging then, we just posted stuff every day or so) but he is one of the best:

there must be some conservatives out there who aren’t gutless pussies looking to lick the balls of the left in search of votes and approval

Early Winner of the 2012 Darwin Awards?

March 6, 2012

Sorry, but there is no need to promulgate more and more laws to protect idiots. Short of criminalizing stupidity, people like this poor girl will continue to get themselves killed, with the upside that they will never pass along their genes.
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Adventures in Web Design

March 5, 2012

I currently hold a salaried position as a webmaster/web designer, but I occasionally still take on free-lance jobs, mostly as a favor, but also when the client offers me a really lucrative deal based on the time needed to create the project. Most of these utilize my years of expertise rather than time-consuming grunt work. I make a good living now and I don’t really seek new work, but if something really advantageous comes along, I’m open to listen.

Which brings me to an unsolicited email I got today from someone who claims he was referred by one of my old clients:

3:37 PM (50 minutes ago)
to dw

I have a party who wishes to set up an active mineral and water dowsing website. He is a professional dowser, has written two books on the subject and has given many presentations on the subject.. He would start working this Spring assuming the new website garnered clients. He is very established in the business but desires a modern active website with a view towards clients in the Western and Central US. I estimate that the business, an LLC to be established, will not have income until August or September.

Are you, Mr. Web Designer/ Webmaster willing to take on the full responsibilities of design, implementation, along with site ranking management and wait until the Fall to get paid by the LLC?

My answer:

3:57 PM (30 minutes ago)
to rob
Tell your “party” to hold his dowser over this email and see which is my answer:

NO                            NO

Andrew Breitbart: a great man, a great loss

March 3, 2012

When I first saw the news of Andrew Breitbart’s death, upon opening my folder of “re-check all day” blogs and clicking the Big Journalism tab, I thought I misread it. Then, I thought maybe it was one of Mr. Breitbart’s jests, but my heart fell, knowing this would be much too serious a matter about which to joke, with a wife and young children involved.

Drudge didn’t have it right away, but other blogs did, and it began to sink in, and I felt an emptiness in the pit of my stomach. I knew immediately a great presence and leader had been taken from us, and the vicissitudes of the campaign season would be less easy to handle without Andrew to fight on our side.

Truly, a great and shining sword for the cause of conservatism in popular culture, the internet and social media has been forever sheathed.
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Old Russian saying

March 2, 2012

“The truth is that the State is a conspiracy designed not only to exploit, but above all to corrupt its citizens.”

An old Russian (pre-Soviet) said it. It’s truer today, and in the USA more than anywhere.

How do you tell an Italian blog? Dago wop wop wop wop wop…

February 20, 2012

I guess I’m just not getting it. Someone indirectly referred to Jeremy Lin (a basketball player, if you don’t know) as a “chink”.

If someone called me a “wop” or a “dago” (both sets of grandparents were of Italian descent and my paternal grandmother came over from Italy as a little girl) I’d just laugh at something so absurd. I wouldn’t try to get someone fired, I really wouldn’t. I almost feel as if we should be able to yell back and forth and call each other dago and wop and n-word and c-word and douchebag and asshole. Who gives a rat’s ass?
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